I consider myself an expert traveler.
I can pack efficiently and effectively for a week's trip in less than 15 minutes. I move through security with economy of movement and speed. I have a reference library in my head of clubs, restaurants, and shops for over 20 airports worldwide. I know things.
For instance, I know that the Virgin Atlantic Business Class Club is actually nicer, though a good bit smaller, than the British Airways Business Class Club at Heathrow International Airport. I know that if I'm flying USAir, and I'm not in First Class, and the plane is a Boeing 757, I'd prefer to sit in either 8D or 8E and that both are aisle seats. I know that when in First Class, I don't want to sit in the first row (not legroom or storage under the seat), or the last row (sometimes the seats don't recline).
For over 15 years, I've been flying around North America, and other parts of the world on a regular basis. I have systems and routines for everything from checking into a flight, to checking out of a hotel (I never actually check out, I just get my bill via email).
But somehow, that doesn't stop me from making bonehead travel moves.
It doesn't happen often, but occasionally all reason seems to leave me and I'll do something that makes me look like a rank amateur. I've left things on the plane (iPod, hats, an Armani suit). I've booked the wrong flight (albeit an easy thing to do). And I've missed flights I was booked on.
Missing flights has often involved oversleeping, but more often than not, it's happened due to calculating incorrectly, the amount of time needed to get to the airport.
For instance, last night Jane asked me what time I needed to leave for the airport. I don't take this lightly and usually do a little math in my head. First off, I want to be at the airport at least an hour and a half before departure, and usually more like two hours before. It takes me an hour and fifteen minutes to get from my house to the airport, and it typically takes me forty-five minutes from the time I wake up to the time I walk out the door. I usually do this math fairly quickly in my head, and then instantly set the alarm on my phone lest I forget.
I use my phone, rather than my alarm clock, for a number of reasons. One, I can be relatively assured that even if the power goes out, my phone will have enough power left to wake me. Two, it's plugged in across the room meaning can't hit a snooze bar and oversleep. This has served me well for years after less than optimal results before this system was instituted.
So back to last night. Jane asked me what time I needed to leave. Here's where my brain failed me (math was never my strong suit). Somehow I decided that I needed to wake up at 5am, which would have me leaving at 5:45am. This would get me to the airport at 7am, for....a 7:35am flight. I was off by an hour. I should have gotten up at 4am, left by 4:45am, gotten to the airport by 6am, for a 7:35am flight.
This, I realized, at about 5:35am. I rushed out the door, did about 80mph the whole way, and since I still had to check a bag, just missed the flight. They might have taken my bag, but I still had to park my car and make it through security. There was no way I was going to make it.
This is the worst part. You're trying to negotiate your way out of it, with anyone, with yourself. There's no way I just missed that flight. It's not possible. Not for something that stupid. But you did. You just did.
It's the five stages of grief.
Denial. I'm not too late. I can make it. Really.
Anger. WTF! No. No. No. No.
Bargaining. There must be a way. Please? I'm here. I can make it. The plane is just over there. Please?
Depression. Fuck. I missed the flight. I can't believe I missed the flight. I must be some kind of idiot.
Acceptance. Might as well settle in and wait for the next flight. When is the next flight? Vodka and soda, please?
Now, this isn't the worst thing. I've done worse. I've had situations from jumping another flight and just barely making the meeting by the skin of my teeth. That's just embarassing. The other end of the spectrum is when I've had to turn around and go back to the office and miss the meeting altogether. That's really bad.
I may be alone in this at my agency. I can't think of anyone else who's done this even once, let along several times. This would be a huge problem for anyone else.
I don't know what's wrong with me.
I'm not like I'm trying to make a meeting today. In fact, I just need to be there sometime today, so I can shoot a TV commercial tomorrow. But I did have a lunch scheduled in Santa Monica today with a producer. I would have gotten to spend the better part of the day in sunny Los Angeles, rather than sitting in an airport for hours upon end on a rainy day in Philadelphia. Instead of landing at 10:40am, I get in at 4:50pm. Then I'll be expected to have dinner with the client and be happy.
So, at least I'm the only one who suffers, and no real damage done, but still. What a bummer. And there's no one else to blame but me, which is what really hurts.
Postscript:
I'm trying to eat healthy while traveling, but it's freakin' hard. Once you start paying attention to calories, let alone sodium, you feel like you can't eat ANY prepared food. It's insane. I can't bring everything with me all the time. I just don't live that way. If I was home every day, I could do it, but I'm not.
As an example. Legal Seafood (not that it's a bastion of health) offers a tuna melt that has 35% more calories and 20% more fat than the fucking beef burger! You can't assume anything anymore.
I read somewhere that McDonald's has a salad that has more calories than a fucking Big Mac!. What bullshit. Even for people who are TRYING to eat healthier, they're getting screwed.
Obviously, I had some time to kill, so I walked around looking at menus. Depending on the internet site I look at, I need to be somewhere between 1200-1900 calories a day. Even at the high end that's not shit. Of course, that's me wanting to still lose another 15 pounds. Might be easier to just fast again for a week or two. With exercise, I don't see any problem eating under 2500 calories per day.
But as I said, I have almost zero confidence in controlling my intake when eating out. It's really nerve racking. Everything is cooked in butter, or has sugar added, or uses all kinds of processed SHIT.
Honestly, I think the big change in my life isn't going to come solely from changing my diet. Something else has got to change. This traveling sucks.
I can pack efficiently and effectively for a week's trip in less than 15 minutes. I move through security with economy of movement and speed. I have a reference library in my head of clubs, restaurants, and shops for over 20 airports worldwide. I know things.
For instance, I know that the Virgin Atlantic Business Class Club is actually nicer, though a good bit smaller, than the British Airways Business Class Club at Heathrow International Airport. I know that if I'm flying USAir, and I'm not in First Class, and the plane is a Boeing 757, I'd prefer to sit in either 8D or 8E and that both are aisle seats. I know that when in First Class, I don't want to sit in the first row (not legroom or storage under the seat), or the last row (sometimes the seats don't recline).
For over 15 years, I've been flying around North America, and other parts of the world on a regular basis. I have systems and routines for everything from checking into a flight, to checking out of a hotel (I never actually check out, I just get my bill via email).
But somehow, that doesn't stop me from making bonehead travel moves.
It doesn't happen often, but occasionally all reason seems to leave me and I'll do something that makes me look like a rank amateur. I've left things on the plane (iPod, hats, an Armani suit). I've booked the wrong flight (albeit an easy thing to do). And I've missed flights I was booked on.
Missing flights has often involved oversleeping, but more often than not, it's happened due to calculating incorrectly, the amount of time needed to get to the airport.
For instance, last night Jane asked me what time I needed to leave for the airport. I don't take this lightly and usually do a little math in my head. First off, I want to be at the airport at least an hour and a half before departure, and usually more like two hours before. It takes me an hour and fifteen minutes to get from my house to the airport, and it typically takes me forty-five minutes from the time I wake up to the time I walk out the door. I usually do this math fairly quickly in my head, and then instantly set the alarm on my phone lest I forget.
I use my phone, rather than my alarm clock, for a number of reasons. One, I can be relatively assured that even if the power goes out, my phone will have enough power left to wake me. Two, it's plugged in across the room meaning can't hit a snooze bar and oversleep. This has served me well for years after less than optimal results before this system was instituted.
So back to last night. Jane asked me what time I needed to leave. Here's where my brain failed me (math was never my strong suit). Somehow I decided that I needed to wake up at 5am, which would have me leaving at 5:45am. This would get me to the airport at 7am, for....a 7:35am flight. I was off by an hour. I should have gotten up at 4am, left by 4:45am, gotten to the airport by 6am, for a 7:35am flight.
This, I realized, at about 5:35am. I rushed out the door, did about 80mph the whole way, and since I still had to check a bag, just missed the flight. They might have taken my bag, but I still had to park my car and make it through security. There was no way I was going to make it.
This is the worst part. You're trying to negotiate your way out of it, with anyone, with yourself. There's no way I just missed that flight. It's not possible. Not for something that stupid. But you did. You just did.
It's the five stages of grief.
Denial. I'm not too late. I can make it. Really.
Anger. WTF! No. No. No. No.
Bargaining. There must be a way. Please? I'm here. I can make it. The plane is just over there. Please?
Depression. Fuck. I missed the flight. I can't believe I missed the flight. I must be some kind of idiot.
Acceptance. Might as well settle in and wait for the next flight. When is the next flight? Vodka and soda, please?
Now, this isn't the worst thing. I've done worse. I've had situations from jumping another flight and just barely making the meeting by the skin of my teeth. That's just embarassing. The other end of the spectrum is when I've had to turn around and go back to the office and miss the meeting altogether. That's really bad.
I may be alone in this at my agency. I can't think of anyone else who's done this even once, let along several times. This would be a huge problem for anyone else.
I don't know what's wrong with me.
I'm not like I'm trying to make a meeting today. In fact, I just need to be there sometime today, so I can shoot a TV commercial tomorrow. But I did have a lunch scheduled in Santa Monica today with a producer. I would have gotten to spend the better part of the day in sunny Los Angeles, rather than sitting in an airport for hours upon end on a rainy day in Philadelphia. Instead of landing at 10:40am, I get in at 4:50pm. Then I'll be expected to have dinner with the client and be happy.
So, at least I'm the only one who suffers, and no real damage done, but still. What a bummer. And there's no one else to blame but me, which is what really hurts.
Postscript:
I'm trying to eat healthy while traveling, but it's freakin' hard. Once you start paying attention to calories, let alone sodium, you feel like you can't eat ANY prepared food. It's insane. I can't bring everything with me all the time. I just don't live that way. If I was home every day, I could do it, but I'm not.
As an example. Legal Seafood (not that it's a bastion of health) offers a tuna melt that has 35% more calories and 20% more fat than the fucking beef burger! You can't assume anything anymore.
I read somewhere that McDonald's has a salad that has more calories than a fucking Big Mac!. What bullshit. Even for people who are TRYING to eat healthier, they're getting screwed.
Obviously, I had some time to kill, so I walked around looking at menus. Depending on the internet site I look at, I need to be somewhere between 1200-1900 calories a day. Even at the high end that's not shit. Of course, that's me wanting to still lose another 15 pounds. Might be easier to just fast again for a week or two. With exercise, I don't see any problem eating under 2500 calories per day.
But as I said, I have almost zero confidence in controlling my intake when eating out. It's really nerve racking. Everything is cooked in butter, or has sugar added, or uses all kinds of processed SHIT.
Honestly, I think the big change in my life isn't going to come solely from changing my diet. Something else has got to change. This traveling sucks.
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